Archive for the fan stuff Category

Diary of Stranger’s Thoughts (smile)

Posted in fan stuff, me and my thoughts, my creations, my stories, the one on April 13, 2011 by Soul

Diary of Stranger’s Thoughts (Smile)
Day: is a little bit disturbing but everything shall be fine
Month: is calm
Year: becomes warmer to everyone
My dear angel, I write you into the infinity of thoughts and streams again. Few days ago I wanted to write that I was happy for I felt you smile sometimes. I have felt the warmth of your smile few times and I yearned to find out if it was true. I wanted to know all the reasons to make you smile – no – not those reasons which lie on the surface, but the ones to make your lips spread into a dear vision of happiness. It is so important just to feel facial muscles to be succumbed to the impulse, get stiff and relax again, hearing the slight voice of your thoughts and the most secret feelings; every – even the smallest part of you gives in to this emotional state and you, having your eyes closed, tenderly raise those lips – so beautiful and sweet, your head is leaned and the light caresses every line, touching your eyes, eyelids, nose, chin neck and goes through your hair…I want to become that light.

Дневник Чужих Мыслей (улыбнись)
May the Force Be With You!
День: немного беспокойный, но все будет хорошо
Месяц: спокоен
Год: становится теплее ко всем

Мой милый ангел, я снова пишу тебе в бесконечность мыслей и потоков. Сначала, несколько дней назад, я хотел написать тебе, что счастлив, потому что ощущаю, как ты иногда улыбаешься. Несколько раз я чувствовал тепло твоей улыбки и мне сильно захотелось узнать, так ли это? Я захотел узнать все причины, по которым ты могла бы улыбаться – нет – не те причины, которые лежат на поверхности событий, а именно те причины, которые заставляют тебя растянуть губы в этом приятном духу образе. Очень важно просто ощущать, как мимические мышцы, поддаваясь импульсу, напрягаются, или расслабляются, услышав отголоски твоих мыслей и самых тайных чувств, каждая – даже самая маленькая, часть тебя поддается этому эмоциональному состоянию и ты, закрыв глаза, просто слегка приподымаешь краешки губ – таких красивых и нежных, твоя голова слегка наклонена и свет ласкает каждую линию, прикасаясь к твоим глазам, векам, носику, подбородку, шее, гладит твои волосы…я так хочу стать этим светом.


俺は数回、君が微笑っているの暖かさを感じました。この時、君の微笑は本当か、分かってほしかったです。君が微笑っているの理由が知ってほしいなりました。皆がこの理由がわかることだけではない。君にこの楽に笑顔をする理由は何。俺にとって、君の衝動に屈した顔の筋肉は一番大切で深い心地を聞こえて、伸ばして、寛げる事は本当に必要なんです。君の最も小さい部分さえ、感情の状態に屈している。目を閉じて、この奇麗で優しい唇を伸ばします。 頭は少しだけたれた、そして、光はすべての特徴を愛撫。君の目や睫毛と鼻や顎と首を触れて、君の髪を乳繰り合う・・・この光になりたいです。


To Die on the Stage and Be Reborn From Ashes

Posted in fan stuff, me and my thoughts, my creations, the one on August 25, 2010 by Soul

The world seems to open wide before you when you are 24. And the real aim of every dreamer is to take this world bare handedly and to hold it tight – to show what kind of man are you. When you are 24 and you are standing there in front of the tremendously big stadium crowded by fans waiting for your music, fainting incapable of holding the grip of their own emotions that exact moment becomes your main live task and you want to scream, give all of you to them – leaving nothing behind. To hear their heartbeats and to realize how strong is the beating of yours. To lose the reality when the first sounds of the song you are to sing played. The strings singing in the arms of the guitarist even more beautiful than any Serene, tender bells pulling you out of the reality as far as it is possible, to leave only the misty particle of you standing there on the stage, sweating and bleeding.
An hour, then two – and the performance is over – only deaf sounds of screams, music and water drunk on the stage. You are almost dragged backstage and dropped on the couch where you want to turn all your feelings off and sleep a while. They give you some cigarette and you exhale the sweet aroma of your favs. The throat is already torn with pain, but you just gotta smoke – no matter what. Let is be. The voice will surely come back tomorrow. And tomorrow you are so tired on this stage that you fall and want to be left like this – motionless – until the end; besides, there is no strength to go on left – just no strength to stand up. But here comes Richie and pulls you up taking both of your arms. You do not remember if he said anything to you ‘cause your ears were numb. There are final songs only and you sing ‘em. You sing them just as if that is the final performance of your life. And once more you are on the way – to the new places where people are waiting for you and love you, where you are ready to die on the stage and to die every second because that is your medicine, that is your opium. Because life is meaningless without that. Because there is no way back. Because you are wanted – dead or alive.

Bon Jovi’s – Wanted Dead Or Alive was recorded when john was only 23 and it became a super hit. It is known even today. And that is the song about Bon Jovi. Though that is suitable to be said about any musician who loves his job; about any one who puts all of his soul in his work…in the kind of meaning that one wery important person usually says calling is the KIAI.
(additional information about the song is here)

умереть на сцене и возродиться из пепла
В 24 года мир, кажется, только раскрывает перед тобой свои объятия. И взять его голыми руками, удержать и показать, из чего ты сделан – вот истинная цель каждого мечтателя. В 24 года, стоя перед огромным стадионом сходящих сума фанов, которые ждут этой музыки, которые падают без сознания, не выдержав напряжения собственных эмоций, становится главной задачей и хочется кричать, отдавать всего себя до остатка каждому из них. Слышать биение их сердец и понимать, как сильно бьется твое. Терять связь с реальностью в миг, когда начинает звучать первый аккорд песни, которую ты вот прямо сейчас будешь петь. Тяжелый звук напряженных струн, которые поют красивее любой из Сирен в руках гитариста, нежный перезвон колокольчиков, вырывающий из реальности на столько, на сколько это возможно, оставив только туманную часть тебя стоять на сцене, истекая потом и кровью.
Час, два часа – и концерт окончен – от него остались только глухие звуки криков, музыки и выпитой воды. Тебя почти тащат на себе за кулисы и бросают на диван, в котором сразу же хочется отключиться и поспать, хотя бы несколько часов. Тебе дают закурить, и ты жадно вдыхаешь аромат любимых сигарет. Горло уже просто разрывается на части от боли, но так хочется курить – все равно. Пусть будет. Завтра голос снова вернется. А завтра ты устаешь на сцене на столько, что вот там прямо, упав, и хочешь остаться совершенно неподвижным до самого конца; да и сил, чтобы подняться нет – просто нет и все. Но вот подходит Ричи и тащит тебя за оба предплечья вверх. Ты подымаешься, и даже не помнишь, говорил ли он тебе что-то, когда поднимал, уже ничего не слышно в ушах. Остались последние песни, и ты их поешь. Поешь так, словно это последний раз в жизни. И опять ты в дороге – все к новым местам, где тебя ждут и любят, где ты готов умереть на сцене и умирать каждую секунду, потому что это твой наркотик. Потому что жизнь без этого не имеет смысла. Потому что назад дороги нет. Потому что ты нужен – живым или мертвым.
Песня Bon Jovi – Wanted Dead Or Alive была написана, когда Джону было всего 23 года, и она стала супер-хитом. Ее знают и любят по сегодняшний день. И это песня о Bon Jovi. Хотя, это можно сказать о любом исполнителе любящем то, что он делает; о том, кто вкладывает всю свою душу в свою работу…то, что кое кто, очень милый мне, называет KIAI.
(дополнительно о песне тут)

Thoughts about lives

Posted in fan stuff, me and my thoughts on July 26, 2010 by Soul

Sometimes you seem to be so full of thoughts, clever, ready to transform all the ideaf of things in life and then, observing the certain individual life, you just realise that there no simple stories to tell and still that must be done. Human lives are worthy of being told about. Every human life is worthy of a biograph and there are those who sepak for certain lives, sometimes there are more than just one person. So, what is my point? Once in a TV show I have been watching the story of Viktor Tsoi. And there I have heard that there was a story with the movie they were shooting and something happened so that the shooting team could not find a lot of statists for the crowd scene in the huge live hall. Victor just went out for a couple of minutes and then, in about a half of an hour the place was felt to the edges with people. I do not remember the whole story, ’cause it was on TV, but that part has stuck in my memory for good. And, which is more important, it made me think of it a lot.
There are many musicians who can barely gather a bunch of people around them just to pay for their concert. Once it even happened to …  and I was a wintess of it ….it happened so that Metallica was in such situation…..but i know it was not people’s fault, it was all about the organisation.
So, what was the point: thereshould have been the rosk-festival in Kiev and METALLICA was invited to the festival, awesome, right?
And then tickets were pretty expencive for me, and not only for me….guess they were just expencive…but that was a HELLISH METALLICA, for Christ sake!!!!! METALLICA!!!!!
People were dying to get the tickets.
I wanted the tickets too! But I was a student…..and I could not persuade my parents to sponsor me.
Anyways, that is not everything – that day, when there was the METALLICA performance some organisators in Kiev decided that it would have been cool to make a free of charge festival on Maidan….BUT!!!!!
You just have to feel the whole beauty of organisators’ menthality: for on of the most celebrated Russian heavy mettal band ARIA was invited there to play couple of songs for the crowd FOR FREE!!!! Do you follow me?
Well, if not, I will tell you, that the huge festival stadium in front of METALLICA was filled with only 200 peops shaking their heads waving their hair, ’cause the rest was on Maidan, listening to the free of charge ARIA.
So, why not? If one has to chose between two awesomest bands, but one is for a huge money and other one is for free, where would you go?
So, people made decision fast.
That is reasonable – that is easy to explain, ’cause that is the reflection of a normal logical thought.
And no sarcasm.
But it was really hard and I regret that those things happened to METALLICA that day. I can imagine how humiliatin it was for them: COOL band and fans are ready to die for the concert, and that is allover the world. But here, in a sort of a god forsaken hole of the world, on a suburb stadium, from the expected 4000 faces less than two hundred only came, and those who came were truelly waving their hairsbefore the stage watching Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, James Hetfield and those days Jason Newsted.
BUT because the quantity of the crazy people who came there was pittifully small…..well…..that is easy to imagine if you imagine the hall for the university performances or school where the seats are two times more than the people who came to watch Metallica and sometime those halls are even more crowded.
So, I skip to the point again: that evening I came home from the ARIA live and watched the news. There was an interview with METALLICA where James Hetfield said that there was no bigger humiliation in their entire life before (that sounded so as if they were going to commit seppuku right there in the television if they were samurai), and right there, in the air, they have made a promise not to come to Ukraine at all, no matter what.
So far the are keeping this promise (=___=”).
And now, just think of it:
1) How much did METALLICA reputation suffered because of the stupid organisation?
2) How much did the Ukraine’s reputation suffered because of the stupid organisation?
3) How easy it was to chose to go to the free live instead of the one you have to pay for (even if you know for sure that both are awesome).
4) How is it like for METALLICA fans (even if I am not their fan, I think you might have noticed that because I know all of their names I consider them as one of my favorite bands), for those fans who did not come there? (I will tell you a little secret: even though I really had no money I am even now ashamed, and I regret that day even now).
But I started this conversation form the other thing right?
The whole log.
Where is the point: when Victor Tsoi needed people, he just went out for a couple of minutes and the giant hall became crowded of crazy people  repeating “Перемен” (We need changes – famos Tsoi song) over and over. But those were the times when we were striving for music, and yes – it was great to listen the best USSR band for free…. that is important here too. So, the same thing was at the advanage of ARIA then. But anyways, ARIA was paid by the organisators…..and who paid the wasted to Metallica???
So, here is the thought: a freedom of choise!
We all have a choise what to listen to.
But alas in the post soviets the most important factor is “free of charge”.
If there are two awesomest band in one day and the teickets cost approximately the same price, where would you go?
And where would you go if one of theim is there for free?
You know, I just thisnk – OK, me and those like me who have no money – hell with us. But the true fans of Metallica, huh? Why did they neglect that (once in a life time) opportunity?
And now, with the fear in my heart I ask myself:
If there is a Bon Jovi live and the same day Maidan will cal people to come to the free live of Океан Ельзы (……….*I am scared*
Mr. John Bonjiovi, please, do not come to Ukraine!
Untill our organisators of festivals are thinking with their buttocks the story with Metallica may repeat again.
Mr. GACKT, please, do not even think of the opportunity to come to Ukraine.
There are only few people here who know of you and you have to be aware of our menthality.
Though in your situation there is always a chance that the tickets will be sold out to the foreighn fans who would surely come here…unless you bump on the idea to make a huge live anr to perform in the frames of the festival.

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Posted in fan stuff, me and my thoughts on June 6, 2010 by Soul

Sometimes I really want to know if there is any one who can see this page and read this. Just to feel what I feel. But most of the time. That is not of my interest at all.
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As if in wish to touch thee even like this

Posted in fan stuff, my creations, my poetry, the one on March 1, 2010 by Soul

On having my eyes closed I stretch my arm,
As if in wish to touch thee even like this,
It’s not an aching even if it brings me harm,
For you are there and I can cope this.

Manip gratitudes to Violette13

Закрыв глаза, протягиваю руку,
Хочу коснуться – пусть и так,
Все это даже не назвать мне мукой,
Ведь есть ты там – и это главный знак.

Dialogue: him and her

Posted in fan stuff, me and my thoughts, my creations, my stories, the one on January 1, 2010 by Soul

She: You know I would write you every day but I wish to see you for once… for at least one second …
He: (smiling) I am busy right now, you see!
She: Yes, I know that is why I write you… even when….
He: Even when what?
She: (exhaling) Even when I write no line to you, I keep on writing.
He: My sweet flower, believe me, everything will be well.
She: (smiling) I know. I believe you.

Диалог: он и она

Она: знаешь, я бы писала тебе каждый день, но лучше с тобой увидеться… хотя бы на пару секунд…
Он: (улыбаясь) я сейчас очень занят!
Она: Да, я это понимаю, потому и пишу тебе, даже когда ….
Он: Даже когда что?
Она: (выдохнув) Даже когда я не написала ни строчки, я продолжаю писать тебе.
Он: Милый мой цветок, верь мне, все будет хорошо.
Она: (улыбнувшись) Я знаю. Я верю тебе.

Theda Bara or how to be Vamp

Posted in fan stuff, me and my thoughts on May 9, 2009 by Soul

Actress. She is marvelous, beautiful and even more – mysterious – Theda Bara.

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Theda Bara (born Theodosia Burr Goodman) (July 29, 1885 – April 13, 1955), she was very popular as the silent movies actress. And she was considered the sex symbol of the time and even now she is considered to be among the sex symbols of the 20th century. She has made the great role in the creation of the Vamp style ‘cause of her femme fatale roles.
She was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, from a Jewish tailor who was born in Poland (Bernard Goodman) and Pauline (guess she was of Poll origin too). She had a brother and a sister.
Actually there are a lot of tales about her life but that one is true. Cause she was …there were so many legends about her life – and all of them were so mysterious… guess that was important for the actress who performed such roles and who should have to perform a Vamp role in a real life.
The point I am skipping to is.
I was talking to a fiend today and we were discussing the question of what should be a real woman like. So we talked about Marylyn Monroe first…about her way of being sexy – she played it – she always performed one role – the role of Marylyn Monroe – and when she was her self she could simply walk the street without the fear of being recognized. And so Theda Bara did. But the thing is that we came to the idea the Japanese rock musicians took this idea as their motto. And seems to me Mana san even took her image to make his Gothic&Lolita image too.
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Theda Bara

more about her:
official site
imdb – Theda Bara
myspace – Theda Bara
Golden Silent
на Дайри о Теде

Theda Bara – Русский вариант
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